Box checking

My life has been very different so far this year. I have discovered some things about myself. This came about through my inability to do much of anything. I have a herniated disc that sends pain down my legs. All.the.time.

I can't (without a lot of pain):

• Stand much longer than ten minutes
• Cook dinner
• Clean house
• Take care of my horses
• Go for my usual hour walk with a friend at the mall or park
• Stand around after church and fellowship

There are a lot of other things that I could probably list, but that's not the point of this post.

I have learned:

• Jesus endured pain much more severe than I ever have
• My husband and son can cook. While they are not very skilled at it and it takes twice as long as it would take me, the food is still quite tasty! They also know how to pick up a pizza or Chinese!
• The house doesn't mind being dirty
• My horses are faring pretty well. Kevin is able to do what needs to be done. Daniel has learned how to pick their feet. (For you non-equestrians, that means cleaning the mud, grass, and manure from the bottoms of their hooves.)
• I miss walking and chatting with my friends. There's simply no substitute.
• I have to schedule sit-down fellowship, which means more lunches at Panera. I don't mind. Really. Sitting is not a problem. Not usually, anyway.
  

That's all the physical aspects. What have I learned spiritually?My identity is not in any of these things! It is not that I am a wife and mother. It is not that I am a decent cook and make interesting meals. It is not whether or not I have a clean house or dirty one. It is not that I am a horse owner.

It is in Christ. That's it. Nothing else. My true identity is in Him.

So it doesn't really matter what I can accomplish in a day or how many things I can check off a list. And believe me, I'm a serious box checker! This has been a huge adjustment in my thinking. My feelings of self-esteem have always been tied to what I can do.

Now I know that Jesus loves me deeply, no matter how many boxes I've checked today. If there's only one box I've checked, it's okay. As long as it's the one that says,"Spend time with God."