Prints, Patties, and No Satellite

You may have heard that the state flower of West Virginia is the satellite dish.

We've all got 'em. We use them for television, for the Internet, and probably other things of which I am not aware.

This morning when I got up, I discovered that a large mammal had stomped one of my square foot gardens. The grid is broken and there's a very large indentation in the special soil mix for which took us a month to find the ingredients. My large planter of Dusty Miller was also knocked over.

My first thought was, "Oh, no! A bear!" My mother hen instincts went into high gear and I warned Kevin not to let the injured dog out by herself. After all, the sun was not yet up and who knew what might still be lurking? Yes, we really do have bears in our neighborhood.

Of course, Mr. Reasonable claims that it was the horse. You see, we have this really aged horse named General. He has a special recipe of feed and alfalfa cubes which are soaked until the consistency of mush. The poor fella has no molars to chew with any more. To prevent the younger horses from stealing we put Grandpa General in the yard to eat in peace.

So he got blamed by Kevin. I still had my doubts. General is not a galumph.

On my way to get hay for the youngsters, I notice suspicious piles of poo in the yard. I must admit that I like horse manure much better than cow manure. It smells better and doesn't liquefy into flat patties. The bovine variety also is much more plentiful.

Upon further inspection of my garden and the surrounding area, I discovered cloven hoof prints. Ah ha!

It was exceedingly more obvious when the sun rose fully. Visitors! About a dozen bovines were in my meadow, which is on the other side of the driveway. One was heading to the yard, so I shooed it away. Of course, a stampede ensued and they all headed for the road. Yay! I knew they were not in danger, for West Virginians are careful on country roads. You never know what you will encounter!

Okay. Mystery and problem solved.

Well...almost.

Remembering that my DVD recorder got upset yesterday, I went to check on the disc to see why it wouldn't record. I turned the TV on.

Uh-oh. It lost the signal. "Well', I thought,"the weather is cloudy. It'll find the signal soon enough." So I left it alone for awhile.

Nope. Not the weather. I check the system menu to diagnose the problem. Zero signal!

Then it occurred to me. The cows! One of the less-than-intelligent creatures knocked my dish!

My husband says, "They're stupid animals. That's why we eat them."